Breezy all at Sea

So it’s not a boarding house but I stole the line from It’s a Wonderful Life. Always loved that movie.

So yeah, last night here. Last night alone. Last night in my apartment. Last night I have to deal with the loud roommate. Last night really in LA. Tomorrow I will be at my cousin’s and it will be hard and it will fly by and before I know it, it will be early Thursday morning and I will be in LA traffic for the last time as a resident heading north on the 101.

Yikes. It really hasn’t hit me. I said goodbye to another couple friends today and I didn’t even get that sad. What is going on? Why am I not emotional and falling apart? Argh. I guess it will hit me when I’m back living with my parents this time next week torturing myself by looking at the weather for LA. I have to be prepared for the challenges of living back in Seattle. I will be able to do this. I’m strong and capable of doing this. Of starting over and creating a new life for myself.

So I have 2.5 days left in LA. The movers come Wednesday and I will head out early Thursday.
I had my going away party last night. There was a pretty good turnout and it was so great to see everyone. I teared up a bit when my small group gave me a beautiful necklace and a sweet card. I’m really going to miss those women.
I honestly don’t think its hit me yet that I’m leaving. I guess I’ve been waiting for a last minute miracle like a job or something that would bind me to this city. But alas, nothing has happened.
Mostly I’m angry that I’m leaving. I have amazing friends here. Independence. Great weather. An alive city. And I’m leaving it to move to a bleak, cold (not just weather wise) city to live with my parents. I know its not permanent and it will be better than living with my roommate. But I’m still not happy about this change.
I guess that’s life. I just have to have hope and faith something good will happen…

So I only have 8 days left in this fair city. And in that time, I have to pack, clean, sell my stuff on craigslist, see friends, have a going away party, work out, get my car’s oil changed and wash the car, house sit for my cousin, watch my shows (yes a priority) and process all my feelings. Sounds like fun right?

I’m just glad that I’m almost done living here. Sooo cannot wait to not have to deal with her b.s. This morning she informed she took out the garbage because it smelled. Ok, why do I need to know that? Oh and for an example of her self-absorbed self, she hasn’t made a comment on my now dark brown hair. And she’s been back for 3 days and seen me enough times to notice that my hair is no longer BLONDE! Argh. See why I can’t stand the princess? 8 more days, 8 more days…

There’s been a lot of signs this last week pointing to me indicating that I’m making the right decision by moving back to Seattle. Things people have said to me, sermons I’ve heard, my hairdresser’s eerily similar situation and most recently, the sign I saw today on the drive home. It’s like God is finally in my face telling me that yes, you need to move. And I’ve come to grips with the reality that my feelings and my brain aren’t in synch on this and that’s ok. I don’t feel like moving and I’m going to be sad, but my brain knows that this is right.