Why?

I just found out that this girl I went to elementary school and high school died in labor a few weeks ago. She was only 28. How does this happen in 2008? I feel so sorry for her son who will never know her. We weren’t really close, but she was a sweet girl and always nice to everyone. On her myspace page she wrote about how excited she was to be pregnant, how great her family and her boyfriend were, and how she had a great life. So sad. I can’t help but ask why this would happen to her. RIP Linda.

Still bummed

Well I’m still bummed. I just don’t want to get out of this funk and I don’t think I’ll be able to for a few days. The apartment was so perfect, I just don’t see how I’m going to find another one. And I don’t even want to look. There are so many weirdos down there. I don’t really want to live alone, but I don’t want to live with some random person who steals my stuff or something. Grr.

I just can’t catch a break. I don’t get it.

The Weakness

One of my favorite songs is “The Weakness in Me” by Joan Armatrading. It was on the soundtrack of “10 Things I hate about You” in case you’ve never heard of it. Anyways, although the lyrics are a bit off from my situation, the title is right on. Because I am weak. Especially when it comes to losing or waiting. I hate both. Obviously there are situations where both are necessary and I understand that. Most of the time I’m pretty good-natured and let things go. However, not in the situation with Jenner. I am weak. I don’t understand what happened. And since I hate losing, I texted him. And he hasn’t written back. I feel like a fool. Yet, for my peace of mind, I had to text him one more time. So that’s the latest update with him. I’m putting him behind me now. Bar results are out soon and I need to focus on that. So for now, I’m going to listen to  that song and have a pity party…